Thursday
Friday
I think I’m finally in my element at my new job.
I say this because I’ve somehow managed to break free of pure accounting work which I so despised. Imagine how I hate vegetables. Multiply that by a billion. Accounting is evil. (Even last night one of our keynote speakers at our AGM said "Accountants are serious, boring, humorless people" Dammit. Why did he have to say that about me? lol)
So, yes, I’m now back at Government after only ten short months at my previous post. All I know is that at my new workplace, there is no shortage of eye candy. Aua kou ke chealous! Even the uglyface Tui wants to come here - and be my slave. It’s a stress-free job and it pays my bills. If that’s not a dream job, then I’m Gisele Bundchen. She my girl.
The challenge for me lies in the HR side of things. Because you KNOW how I'm such a people-person - always so cheerful and happy and sickeningly perky like a fake tit. If there's a positive side to Accounting, it's not having to face people. Balance your debits and credits, sum up your figures and print your report. With not a live person in sight.
Give me an autopsy anyday.
I say this because I’ve somehow managed to break free of pure accounting work which I so despised. Imagine how I hate vegetables. Multiply that by a billion. Accounting is evil. (Even last night one of our keynote speakers at our AGM said "Accountants are serious, boring, humorless people" Dammit. Why did he have to say that about me? lol)
So, yes, I’m now back at Government after only ten short months at my previous post. All I know is that at my new workplace, there is no shortage of eye candy. Aua kou ke chealous! Even the uglyface Tui wants to come here - and be my slave. It’s a stress-free job and it pays my bills. If that’s not a dream job, then I’m Gisele Bundchen. She my girl.
The challenge for me lies in the HR side of things. Because you KNOW how I'm such a people-person - always so cheerful and happy and sickeningly perky like a fake tit. If there's a positive side to Accounting, it's not having to face people. Balance your debits and credits, sum up your figures and print your report. With not a live person in sight.
Give me an autopsy anyday.
It’s another year over with resolutions made during the New Year never even seeing the light of day. My resolution was never to eat again. Hmph! A fat load of good that did! For me, this year proved challenging as I moved from four years slaving my butt off at government with peanuts as pay to diving into the big unknown to my maybe-not-as-fabulous current job which I (have slowly come to) love. And I beat myself over the head at why I stayed for so long in that rut of a job with no sense of direction. Verbal Combination, Recognize, Realize…Seriously, I’m so glad I moved away. Staff turnover was huge. Morale was at an all-time low. Audit on our backs all the time. Was at a difficult stage with my boss. That sort of thing.
But now this year, I look back and realize just how much I’ve ‘done’ in the past 12 months. I made lots of new friends, met new work colleagues, voted for the first time in the general elections, went to a nightclub (truly a miracle!), took up smoking again, had lots of drinking sessions, became the Queen of Karaoke, had friends who had babies while I remained childless (note to self: be a woman, make thee a baby), frequented Bora Bora, christened the Garage de Vaiala roundtable, had verbal spats with another manager and even the CEO, nearly puked at the Customers party, almost went to Los Angeles, and have just celebrated my 2nd wedding anniversary. Busy girl.
And now this is Christmas. Practically the ONLY thing I like about Christmas is going to the night Mass and listening to our choir. It’s absolute heaven and makes me feel good all over and want to forgive everyone. For about 2 seconds. I’m not the touchy-feely type so I go out of my way to avoid hugging and kissing people wishing them a Merry fecking Xmas. In fact, straight after Christmas Eve Mass when everyone’s stretching their facial muscles trying to out-smile each other, hugging one other outside church, I run to the car and hide in it. And from within the safe confines of an automobile, I laugh at the people kissing each other while all year long they were backstabbing and gossiping about people behind fans. The hypocrisy of it all. Which is why I do what I do : If I don’t like you, I will not talk to you. Avoid bodily contact that doesn’t end in sex, is my motto. Pugi.
If I had my way, Christmas would be when I do absolutely nothing, cook nothing, wash nothing. Nada. (But isn't that like, normal for you Pinky?) My mum has this ‘thing’ where we all have to be home for Christmas (Where else could I possibly be? At Bad Billy’s?), sit under the Christmas tree, have her only sister and kids over all opening presents (guess who fake smiles during opening of pressies?) I don’t mean to take away the meaning of Christmas for all who love this holiday but really, everything is commercialized to within an inch of their life.
Other than the sacred event that is the birth of Jesus, what is Christmas?
Is Christmas the time when everyone buys presents even when there’s nothing in your bank account, your electricity bill hasn’t been paid and your phone has been disconnected?
Is Christmas the time when businesses try to generate an air of "good feeling" under the guise of commercialization?
Is Christmas just another excuse for people to get horribly drunk and spill all the family skeletons and vent all their pent-up anger and frustration at the relatives who did them wrong?
E! Eveliga, who went up and smoked your chimney, you Scrooge?
Ia ua lava lea rant.
To all my fellow bloggers in Samoa, Hawaii, Japan, New Zealand, Fiji, the US, Australia, wherever you are - here’s to a healthy and safe Yuletide, and hoping we all have a rewarding and happy 2007. Alofa atu…xoxo
But now this year, I look back and realize just how much I’ve ‘done’ in the past 12 months. I made lots of new friends, met new work colleagues, voted for the first time in the general elections, went to a nightclub (truly a miracle!), took up smoking again, had lots of drinking sessions, became the Queen of Karaoke, had friends who had babies while I remained childless (note to self: be a woman, make thee a baby), frequented Bora Bora, christened the Garage de Vaiala roundtable, had verbal spats with another manager and even the CEO, nearly puked at the Customers party, almost went to Los Angeles, and have just celebrated my 2nd wedding anniversary. Busy girl.
And now this is Christmas. Practically the ONLY thing I like about Christmas is going to the night Mass and listening to our choir. It’s absolute heaven and makes me feel good all over and want to forgive everyone. For about 2 seconds. I’m not the touchy-feely type so I go out of my way to avoid hugging and kissing people wishing them a Merry fecking Xmas. In fact, straight after Christmas Eve Mass when everyone’s stretching their facial muscles trying to out-smile each other, hugging one other outside church, I run to the car and hide in it. And from within the safe confines of an automobile, I laugh at the people kissing each other while all year long they were backstabbing and gossiping about people behind fans. The hypocrisy of it all. Which is why I do what I do : If I don’t like you, I will not talk to you. Avoid bodily contact that doesn’t end in sex, is my motto. Pugi.
If I had my way, Christmas would be when I do absolutely nothing, cook nothing, wash nothing. Nada. (But isn't that like, normal for you Pinky?) My mum has this ‘thing’ where we all have to be home for Christmas (Where else could I possibly be? At Bad Billy’s?), sit under the Christmas tree, have her only sister and kids over all opening presents (guess who fake smiles during opening of pressies?) I don’t mean to take away the meaning of Christmas for all who love this holiday but really, everything is commercialized to within an inch of their life.
Other than the sacred event that is the birth of Jesus, what is Christmas?
Is Christmas the time when everyone buys presents even when there’s nothing in your bank account, your electricity bill hasn’t been paid and your phone has been disconnected?
Is Christmas the time when businesses try to generate an air of "good feeling" under the guise of commercialization?
Is Christmas just another excuse for people to get horribly drunk and spill all the family skeletons and vent all their pent-up anger and frustration at the relatives who did them wrong?
E! Eveliga, who went up and smoked your chimney, you Scrooge?
Ia ua lava lea rant.
To all my fellow bloggers in Samoa, Hawaii, Japan, New Zealand, Fiji, the US, Australia, wherever you are - here’s to a healthy and safe Yuletide, and hoping we all have a rewarding and happy 2007. Alofa atu…xoxo
Tuesday
You continue a trend of dwelling on that which you enjoy. Good work. Keep this up – you could soon achieve that rare state best described as ‘deliriously happy’.
Fuck. NOW I have to be nice to people.
Fuck. NOW I have to be nice to people.
Wednesday
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others. They are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to sleep with the person I want.
I've learned you should always leave loved ones with loving words. You may need to borrow money.
I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that a good time can be had sitting on the beach and drinking with a bum.
I've learned that heroes are the people who do whoever has to be done when they need to be done, regardless of the morning after.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean you can't take advantage of them when they're passed out and naked in your bed.
I've learned that maturity is a magazine for old people.
I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. Of course, if you win the lottery, the hag, the philanderer, the screw-up, the missing one, the asshole and the horse-tooth girl will be and will also claim to be your best friend.
I've learned that airport personnel don't like you joking about bombs in your luggage. No matter how many times you state that you're only joking.
I've learned that overzealous customs agents can change your life in a matter of hours.
I've learned to say "Screw them if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.
I've learned that no matter how good a chick is, she'll only contribute to your alcoholism.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others. They are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to sleep with the person I want.
I've learned you should always leave loved ones with loving words. You may need to borrow money.
I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that a good time can be had sitting on the beach and drinking with a bum.
I've learned that heroes are the people who do whoever has to be done when they need to be done, regardless of the morning after.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean you can't take advantage of them when they're passed out and naked in your bed.
I've learned that maturity is a magazine for old people.
I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. Of course, if you win the lottery, the hag, the philanderer, the screw-up, the missing one, the asshole and the horse-tooth girl will be and will also claim to be your best friend.
I've learned that airport personnel don't like you joking about bombs in your luggage. No matter how many times you state that you're only joking.
I've learned that overzealous customs agents can change your life in a matter of hours.
I've learned to say "Screw them if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.
I've learned that no matter how good a chick is, she'll only contribute to your alcoholism.
Monday
"I have a gun, and I know how to use it."
Yes, I'm having one of THOSE days. Didn't sleep until 4 in the morning. (Okay, I lied 2 posts ago - I finally cried because I was miss it moy huspend. Aoooooooo, makagaga!) My mum's been bugging me with her stuff. My dad is calling me up about how he can enlarge the fonts on his computer. My brother is blaming me for my mother's lost camera. My B&H ciggies are finished. There were only four pieces of lamb in the stir fry I had for lunch. I have not talked to my husband since last week. There is no toilet paper in the office toilet. I can't export stuff from our system to Excel. I have to analyse some shit I only ever did in ACCY111 about 7 years ago. I am buried under shitloads of work with no immediate boss to cover my ass should anything go wrong. I am broke...but my husband DID leave his ATM card. Oooh, maybe I'll go withdraw that $5.20 out. Bastard!
Sigh. Anyway, the reason for this new post was mainly so people can skip over the long essay below. Shuddup, Tia :)
Yes, I'm having one of THOSE days. Didn't sleep until 4 in the morning. (Okay, I lied 2 posts ago - I finally cried because I was miss it moy huspend. Aoooooooo, makagaga!) My mum's been bugging me with her stuff. My dad is calling me up about how he can enlarge the fonts on his computer. My brother is blaming me for my mother's lost camera. My B&H ciggies are finished. There were only four pieces of lamb in the stir fry I had for lunch. I have not talked to my husband since last week. There is no toilet paper in the office toilet. I can't export stuff from our system to Excel. I have to analyse some shit I only ever did in ACCY111 about 7 years ago. I am buried under shitloads of work with no immediate boss to cover my ass should anything go wrong. I am broke...but my husband DID leave his ATM card. Oooh, maybe I'll go withdraw that $5.20 out. Bastard!
Sigh. Anyway, the reason for this new post was mainly so people can skip over the long essay below. Shuddup, Tia :)
Wednesday
I have posted this essay before; it's a favourite of mine. It's a good read for all the married people, for those thinking of tying the knot, those who are afraid to take the plunge and anyone who likes to read this kind of stuff. (PS: Jas, this is the essay I talked about)
PARTNERS AND MARRIAGE
by Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz
I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.
When I was younger, this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.
And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other's foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible. How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other's habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?
The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly the early stages.
Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side. This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.
The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality.
This is the ideal. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility. One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new.
Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.
After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.
Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance doesn't become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.
There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if youcannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.
So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation. Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe.
Marriage is a transformation we choose to make. Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come.
If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger. It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter.
But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is grown by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousnesses come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one. There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.
But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex.
So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation. If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom...endlessly.
PARTNERS AND MARRIAGE
by Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz
I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.
When I was younger, this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.
And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other's foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible. How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other's habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?
The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly the early stages.
Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side. This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.
The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality.
This is the ideal. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility. One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new.
Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.
After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.
Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance doesn't become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.
There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if youcannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.
So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation. Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe.
Marriage is a transformation we choose to make. Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come.
If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger. It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter.
But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is grown by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousnesses come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one. There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.
But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex.
So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation. If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom...endlessly.
